I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize