It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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