I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Rumble strips road head = magical
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
