I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize