so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Randomize
