How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
