So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
