He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
