i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
