I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
