I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize