standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
