Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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