she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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