i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Terrible idea I love it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
