My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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