are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We need a shit load of segways right now
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
