I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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