My nipple is on Facebook.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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