After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
