sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
