the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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