You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
