I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
