I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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