He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
