So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
