Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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