I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
