There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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