I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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