You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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