ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize