I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
