Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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