He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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