So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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