she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
