It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
