Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
