I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
