It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
