hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
