no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
