Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sorry about my life...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize