Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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