You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
