I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
two words: eviction party
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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