hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize