I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
