I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
