if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
