Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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