If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's never too late to be topless.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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