Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize