Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
