1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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