like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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