He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
