Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
