I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
