Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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