I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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