I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize