You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
