its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
