part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
