It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Let's get the cat blown out
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
