How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
