he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
